Woodsaddle

This site to feature:

Epigrams of wit, verve, and dash
Bawdy poems and limericks
Exhumations
Lists

There are two ways to view the stars: As they really are and as we might wish them to be. We were hunter-folk. So we put hunters and dogs, lions and young women up in the skies. All manner of things of interest to us. When 17th century European sailors first saw the southern skies, they put all sorts of things of 17th century interests up there. Microscopes and telescopes; compasses and the sterns of ships. 

-C Sagan

I want everyone to watch Cosmos. Please watch all of Cosmos.

Things That Go Abroad

turbo-jet engines of a thrust less than 25 KN

parts and accessories of typewriters

parts of hoists and winches

valves, pressure reducing

snowmobiles, golf cars, similar vehicles

helicopters of an unladen weight less than 2000 kg

waste or scrap of cast iron

diamonds, unsorted

human or animal blood prepared for therapeutic uses

tarpaulins, awnings, and sunblinds

builders’ joinery and carpentry of wood

wood sawn or chipped of a thickness exceeding 6 mm

wood in the rough

women’s suits, not knit

lenses, prisms, mirrors, and other optical instruments

hand tools (including glass cutters) not elsewhere specified

angles, shapes, and sections of iron and nonalloy steels

monofilament

worked monumental or building stone (except slate)

soups and broths

carpets, tufted

(Source: atlas.media.mit.edu)

Anyone who has witnessed the actions of a locoed horse must have concluded first that human beings are on account of its peculiar manifestations exposed to great bodily danger; a locoed horse without any warning starting over dangerous places or into deep water.

My own observations and experiments have convinced me that the use of the muriat tincture of
iron, and in fact one or two other drugs, with the accessories of hygienic treat-ment, will, if taken in time, act favorably upon the animals affected. In view of the evident importance to the economical interests of that portion of the country, I  think that the Government should make the necessary experiments.

(Source: sciencemag.org)

  • Elderly Gent: How bout this rain?
  • YT: I don't mind it. It's alright.
  • Elderly Gent: It's alright if you aren't getting soaked...I've been in earthquakes and tornadoes and snowstorms that lasted two weeks without stopping. But I've never been in a hailstorm before. I didn't know what to do so I just stood there. People must have been thinking, what's he doing, he's getting beat to hell. Well, I've got my hat, though.

uncharted

But if you avoided the shipping executives and the freight forwarders and stuck to the names of the Queens and kept your pen charging through that stupendous geography of paperwork - Porto Amelia, Androko, Funchal, Yokohama, Messina, Kristiansand, Reykjavik, Tel Aviv, and whatnot - you could preserve your sea-sense and all its luminous briny tenets. There was a period one spring when, I remember, I used to read Conrad far into the night and every night, novel after novel, until I felt that, if I had not been a seaman in my last incarnation, I was sure to be one in my next. And when, in the morning, groping groggily at my desk, I confronted a fresh envelope full of contradictory demands and excruciatingly detailed sub-clauses, it seemed like a plunge into the wave of life itself, Aruba, Suez, Cristobal, and all the rest crept up into my nostrils like some unbearable siren’s perfume, all weedy, deep, and wild. Those days a hot liquid of imagination lived in the nerve of my joy.

—Cynthia Ozick, “The Dock-Witch”

I’m in love with Montana. For other states I have admiration, respect, recognition, even some affection. But with Montana it is love. And it’s difficult to analyze love when you’re in it.

-John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley

feats of skill, of strength, of wit

[trivia; we lose 28 to 56 to a team of some vague acquaintances. we have entered the contest late but this is still difficult to accept. it bears mentioning that this is the most poorly run contest in new england. we successfully heckled the emcee throughout]

guy from other team [preening — clearly he is the worst]: hey yo, so we beat you guys.

ian [amiable as ever, working his neck to accommodate this obvious faux pas in friendly conversation]: ahh, we came in late, so you know…

guy from other team [gloating now, and totally a dick about it]: we scored twice as many points as you

guy from my team: Yeah, barely!!

distillment

epilogue

sis: Sorry I couldn’t come visit you at work. [our brother] gave me terrible directions.

me: I don’t think you missed out on much. I do a lot of putting a box onto another box.

sis: You mean like

sis: grafting cardboard?

me: Some kind of, artisan? No, just- stacking.

sis: Why don’t you just find a rich heiress and lock that down. Someone in toothpaste or trashbags or something

or soap

everyone loves soap

-

denouement

me: Whoever had your portable james joyce before you, wrote some brilliant notes in the table of contents

sis: I wrote them.

-

prologue

I see a portable j joyce and begin glancing through it happily. I inspect the table of contents. crammed into the margin are brief penciled-in annotations.

The Sisters boy stuck w/ one now dead companion

An Encounter old guy talks to 2 boys in a spoiled adventure

Araby boy wants to buy a gift for a girl that doesn’t care

Eveline changes her mind and stays home w/ angry father instead of getting married

After the Race gambles everything away all night

Two Gallants meet up w/ girl that steals for them

The Boarding House marries her daughter off

A Little Cloud little man w/ new baby & passionless wife

Counterparts gets drunk and beats his kid

Clay woman thats a spinster visits the boy she nursed on halloween

A Painful Case guy meets girl girl kills herself guy feels used

Ivy Day in the Committee Room no one trusts the candidate they support like the disciples

A Mother woman wants her daughters commission then storms off

Grace man bites a bit of his tongue off then goes to a catholic church he doesn’t believe in

The Dead guy has an epiphany

“Matt with several of his fists”
“Matt during his lung years”
“Matt in the time of flesh-eyes”
“Matt before the fire”

“Matt with several of his fists”
“Matt during his lung years”
“Matt in the time of flesh-eyes”
“Matt before the fire”

(Source: Wikipedia)

Damn Fine Misquote

“Do What Thou Wilt And Thou Shall Be The Whole Of The Law

-Aleister Crowley”

The thing people don’t understand about an army is its great, unpunctuated wastes of inaction: you have to scavenge for food, you are camped out somewhere with a rising water level because your mad capitaine says so, you are shifted abruptly in the middle of the night into some indefensible position, so you never really sleep, your equipment is defective, the gunners keep causing small unwanted explosions, the crossbowmen are either drunk or praying, the arrows are ordered up but here yet, and your whole mind is occupied by a seething anxiety that things are going to go badly because il principe, or whatever little worshipfulness is in charge today, is not very good at the basic business of thinking. 

-Hilary Mantel, Bring Up the Bodies

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

—Rememberlifdoff

-malcolm brown

(Source: homestuck.bandcamp.com)

The full Classical Mongolian name for the morin khuur is morin-u toloγai tai quγur, meaning fiddle with a horse’s head. It produces a sound which is poetically described as expansive and unrestrained, like a wildhorse neighing, or like a breeze in the grasslands. On the national festival “Naadam” praise songs are played for the most magnificent horse and for the highest ranked wrestler and archer. During the winter time, but also in beginning of the spring time a morin khuur player is called in for the “жавар үргээх”, the “ceremony for scaring away the frost”. In general many traditional pieces are played, divided in the different styles: “urtiin duu” (long song), “magtaal” (praise songs) and “tatlaga” (solo pieces, mostly imitating horses or camels). 

(Source: Wikipedia)